Given enough time, he always loses. Sleep will prevail.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
A midnight message to my wife
Thank you, honey, as you take another night shift to help our little enterprise stay afloat. Granted, we could have thought this through a little better, but I sincerely appreciate your work and sacrifice. Just know that tonight, when little Joseph stirs and begs to come to our bed, as he's kicking me in the face, I'm loving you.
Yours,
C.
Yours,
C.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Dispatches from the Fortress of Solitude
Is anyone there? Please, anyone? I need help. I've holed myself up in the bathroom while the Beast sleeps. My wife is sleeping because she took a job doing the midnight shift at the front desk of our apartment building. She does this on the weekends--Saturday and Sunday morning--and has to catch up on sleep for the rest of the day. That leaves me on babysitting duties the whole day, and I have work to do.
Please, somebody help me. He'll wake at any moment. Any sound could set him off. A dog has been barking in a nearby apartment since eight o'clock. Someone is playing hip-hop music. My situation is PRECARIOUS! I have dozens of e-mails to catch up on. I'm starving. I haven't showered. And this is the first time in 48 hours that I've been able to go to the bathroom. So, I'm multi-tasking.
He's sweet, I know. He's a very good boy. But he also likes to whack his head into things, and has a deadly affinity for light sockets. And even if the Boy doesn't kill me, the Mother will. While I merely try to keep our son alive, the house descends into a minefield of blocks, singing bear toys and Tupperware. If she wakes before I can clean it, she'll have my...hands.
Oh no! I heard a sound. Something down the hallway is stirring. Wait--is the bathroom door locked? Oh no! And my pants are still down! Help! No! You can't come in! Get out of that! Noooo!
Please, somebody help me. He'll wake at any moment. Any sound could set him off. A dog has been barking in a nearby apartment since eight o'clock. Someone is playing hip-hop music. My situation is PRECARIOUS! I have dozens of e-mails to catch up on. I'm starving. I haven't showered. And this is the first time in 48 hours that I've been able to go to the bathroom. So, I'm multi-tasking.
He's sweet, I know. He's a very good boy. But he also likes to whack his head into things, and has a deadly affinity for light sockets. And even if the Boy doesn't kill me, the Mother will. While I merely try to keep our son alive, the house descends into a minefield of blocks, singing bear toys and Tupperware. If she wakes before I can clean it, she'll have my...hands.
Oh no! I heard a sound. Something down the hallway is stirring. Wait--is the bathroom door locked? Oh no! And my pants are still down! Help! No! You can't come in! Get out of that! Noooo!
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Joseph's first Oktoberfest...
In keeping with the theme of the latest spate of videos, this doesn't have much to do with anything. But if you're into German oom-pa-pa music, this one's for you.
By the way, do YOU go to a church that hosts an Oktoberfest complete with beer, roast pig and a live German band? No? You should. Call me and we'll get you signed up for RCIA. ;-)
By the way, do YOU go to a church that hosts an Oktoberfest complete with beer, roast pig and a live German band? No? You should. Call me and we'll get you signed up for RCIA. ;-)
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